The show

sept 1–3, 2026 · washington d.c.

I Regret Nothing is a show about the things we put up with — the relationships we stay in too long, the versions of ourselves we shrink into, the stuff we swore we'd never tolerate and then quietly did anyway. And it's about the shame that shows up afterward, uninvited, and refuses to leave.

Sara Polon is the founder and CEO of a multi-million dollar company, a mentor, an entrepreneur who has built something real from nothing. She is also, for thirteen years, the girlfriend of a man whose name in her phone was Macho Gazpacho — young, hot, and appropriately clichéd as a personal trainer.

The tale of Sara and her Macho Gazpacho — hot, fun, and prone to bizarre and sometimes dark behavior — made her feel like a fool, but she was in too deep to get out, and too ashamed to admit there was something wrong. Until one night.

This is the show she wrote to say the things no one else will. After hearing her story, you might realize we're all pretending.

And somehow then, you too might start to regret nothing.

Who it's for

Anyone still carrying it
the guilt, the cringe, the "how did I let that happen" — you're not alone in the room.
People who like it real
funny, unflinching, and honest about the stuff we usually keep quiet.
A night out with nerve
bring the friend who needs to hear it. Then get a drink and talk about it.
grab tickets →